Week Thirteen
(Paid period is over - we're on to freebies now)
13.1 Found out yesterday that someone I know actually met her husband on a free site. I didn't know this! They are a beautiful couple with two adorable children, so it just goes to show that there is a possibility of success. Again, very exciting! I now know of successes on the free sites and on the paid sites... So... It's only a matter of time, right? ... Right?
It's strange this morning to not have to log on to the paid site, to not have to deal with the aggravation of being matchless. Did receive two communications yesterday evening from matches who had not responded in more than a month, so that was interesting. Of course, just answers to the multiple-choice questions, so... Not much to draw from. But I put my e-mail address out there and we'll see if anyone (Suitor B or the other two matches) wish to continue talking.
Now, with the free site: found there are a lot of polyamorous couples on there looking for a new partner. I had to update my profile - as I was being matched with quite a few of these men - to state that "ethical non-monogamy" (as one match put it) is just not my scene. As I've stated, I can't handle two or three conversations at one time. Two or three partners - as most of the matches I've seen that are interested in this are looking for an actual third, not just someone for a threesome every now and then - just sounds exhausting. So, if that's what makes everyone involved happy, I wish them good luck.
Me? Let's just see if I can hold my own with one other person.
13.2 The problem with the free site is that you have these "quickmatch" profiles that you can read, and see the photos, and whatnot, but then you have to rate the people on a scale of 1 - 5. In theory, if you both select a high rating for the other person (4 or 5 stars), you'll both be informed of your matchableness. Sure, matchableness is a word. Anyway, this rating system is very awkward. I don't like it. Lol. You don't have to use it to check out your potential matches - which are indicated with three separate (yet equally important) percentages. The police, who investigate... Uhm, I mean the "match" percentage, the "friend" percentage, and the "enemy" percentage. You can just search for potential matches, or you can use this quick-and-easy matching system to get an idea of what's out there.
I prefer to search.
But the percentages are handy: based on answers to a variety of questions, you can see what sort of compatibility you might have with another person. Hrm... Sounds like a little bit of science is being applied here, as well. Anyways, it seems as though some people either don't care to use the percentages, or haven't really paid attention to them. I've had numerous messages from people who match like this: 45% match, 58% friend, 39% enemy... ... ... Right. Well. I'm willing to defy the percentages a bit, too, but... When the "Enemy" and "Match" scores are almost even? That just sounds like all sorts of unnecessary drama to me.
And I'm such a big fan of drama.
Awesome called Saturday afternoon - I didn't have my phone on me. Left a message. Sent him a message Saturday night. No action there at the moment.
13.3 How much difference a day makes when your life is ruled by sunrise, sunset. See, because I watch the sunrise about two hours after I get to work... And it sets on the way home from work. On my way home from work, not the sun's... Uhm...
Anyways. Winter is the one time that I am most happy to be a smoker. You know why? Because I actually get to see the sun in the hour/hour-and-a-half each day it peaks out. Seasonal Affective Disorder? Pffft. Start hanging out with smokers (I would never advocate that you start smoking - it's a disgusting and vile habit) - give yourself an excuse to revel in a few minutes of sunshine every couple of hours. Just stand upwind of the smokers. Do I have a point here? Well, of course I do.
Being able to get outside yesterday during the day and early evening and enjoy the few precious minutes of sunshine had some sort of voodoo effect on me. So, yesterday evening, I went through and checked out a whole schwack of matches. Because I'd been fairly passive up until this point - if someone messaged me, I responded. If someone added me, I added them back. You know, reactive - which, I'm pretty sure, is what everyone's looking for in a partner, right? Clearly. But last night, I actually went through and looked at some matches, decided if I was interested or not (with all the second-guessing and what-if-ing that entails) and took initiative.
Ehm, and it was interesting. What draws me to a profile on the free site? Humour. Followed extremely closely by eloquence. Third, quirkiness. Fourth, attractiveness. One potential match was quite attractive, but his answer to every single section on the profile was "ask me." ... Well, sunshine, that's kind of what is going on in the profile - act as though someone has asked you those questions... and answer them. Just because you're a dreamboat (this is a word I think ought to be brought back. Dreamboat. Epic.) doesn't mean people aren't looking a little deeper.
13.4 Bah! Bah, I say! I realized that this is just not the ideal time to be hunting for a match.
Weekends are all tied up with holiday stuff (or family stuff - leading into holiday stuff) and quite frankly, I'm in bed at nine during the week. Ehm, and possibly on the weekends as well. Because I am, in point of fact, ninety years old. Give me my books or crossword puzzles, a blanket, and a comfortable couch. And a cup of tea. And I'm golden for hours.
But the point is that with the days getting shorter, and with the weekends getting crazier, what on earth was I thinking, continuing this foray right now? And actually *gasp* MEETING with people?!? I'm so sleepy.
As a sidenote, the sponsored links right now, as I am composing this as an e-mail draft, are: "What Really Attracts Men: 10 Secrets to Attracting Your Man, Get Him Hooked for Good!" and "What Really Attracts Guys: 9 Secrets to Attract Your Perfect Guy Into a State of Obsession!"
Mayhaps it's because I'm not in my teens anymore and have in theory been around the block, but the prospect of attracting my perfect guy "into a state of obsession" is more than slightly terrifying. I mean, I like having some creep going through my garbage and following me everywhere as much as the next girl... But sometimes I just want to be able to get my hair cut without watching my man pick up all the clippings for his shrine, you know?
Obsession, indeed. Though I admit that I am curious as to what inane and ridiculous advice the two sites might offer. Not curious enough to visit the sites, however...
... Anyways, have run across some more of those guys who make it seem like I'm pulling teeth to get anything out of them. So, I have stopped communicating with them. lol. Awesome and Nice Guy, with one Potential Weirdo thrown in for kicks, and that's where we're at on the freebies.
13.5 Going out with Awesome again this evening... I do sort of feel like I've been run over by a Mack today. I wonder if it's possible to catch a cold from someone through texting...? So far, I think I've had more colds this autumn/winter than the previous twenty-some years of my life, combined. Stupid.
You know what else is, if not stupid, then at least poorly planned? People who attempt to initiate conversation when there are no photos and no answers on their profile. Especially when the initial message is "hey." Clearly I'm not the busiest person on the planet, but I'm also not particularly interested in one-word communications. Can you imagine how long it would take to actually have the equivalent of a full and complete conversation? Criminy. And when there's nothing to draw from on the profile - nothing for me to respond with "Hey, so I see you're into football... going to the Cup this weekend?" or some such... Well... It just seems like a big ole waste of time all around.
13.6 Didn't get out last night because of the fact that the roads in my city were all skating rinks! Good times. Skidded out twice on my way home... Now, I cross the entire city when I travel to and from work. Guess where I skidded. C'mon, guess! First time - turning on to the road my home is on. Second time - turning into the parkade at my place. Travelling at 80+ most of the way home, on major and poorly maintained routes, and I skid out going less than ten, making left hand turns.
Anyways, Awesome and I agreed the roads were too terrible, and have rescheduled for tomorrow.
Haven't checked the other dudes, but I haven't received any e-mail notifications saying I have new messages, either. Got to go help a neighbour move her bed, then working with the nephews on homework and Christmas present surprises.
13.7 Nothing new to report. I'll probably get on the site later today after I post this, but yesterday was a very busy day!
