Week Thirteen
(Paid period is over - we're on to freebies now)
13.1 Found out yesterday that someone I know actually met her husband on a free site. I didn't know this! They are a beautiful couple with two adorable children, so it just goes to show that there is a possibility of success. Again, very exciting! I now know of successes on the free sites and on the paid sites... So... It's only a matter of time, right? ... Right?
It's strange this morning to not have to log on to the paid site, to not have to deal with the aggravation of being matchless. Did receive two communications yesterday evening from matches who had not responded in more than a month, so that was interesting. Of course, just answers to the multiple-choice questions, so... Not much to draw from. But I put my e-mail address out there and we'll see if anyone (Suitor B or the other two matches) wish to continue talking.
Now, with the free site: found there are a lot of polyamorous couples on there looking for a new partner. I had to update my profile - as I was being matched with quite a few of these men - to state that "ethical non-monogamy" (as one match put it) is just not my scene. As I've stated, I can't handle two or three conversations at one time. Two or three partners - as most of the matches I've seen that are interested in this are looking for an actual third, not just someone for a threesome every now and then - just sounds exhausting. So, if that's what makes everyone involved happy, I wish them good luck.
Me? Let's just see if I can hold my own with one other person.
13.2 The problem with the free site is that you have these "quickmatch" profiles that you can read, and see the photos, and whatnot, but then you have to rate the people on a scale of 1 - 5. In theory, if you both select a high rating for the other person (4 or 5 stars), you'll both be informed of your matchableness. Sure, matchableness is a word. Anyway, this rating system is very awkward. I don't like it. Lol. You don't have to use it to check out your potential matches - which are indicated with three separate (yet equally important) percentages. The police, who investigate... Uhm, I mean the "match" percentage, the "friend" percentage, and the "enemy" percentage. You can just search for potential matches, or you can use this quick-and-easy matching system to get an idea of what's out there.
I prefer to search.
But the percentages are handy: based on answers to a variety of questions, you can see what sort of compatibility you might have with another person. Hrm... Sounds like a little bit of science is being applied here, as well. Anyways, it seems as though some people either don't care to use the percentages, or haven't really paid attention to them. I've had numerous messages from people who match like this: 45% match, 58% friend, 39% enemy... ... ... Right. Well. I'm willing to defy the percentages a bit, too, but... When the "Enemy" and "Match" scores are almost even? That just sounds like all sorts of unnecessary drama to me.
And I'm such a big fan of drama.
Awesome called Saturday afternoon - I didn't have my phone on me. Left a message. Sent him a message Saturday night. No action there at the moment.
13.3 How much difference a day makes when your life is ruled by sunrise, sunset. See, because I watch the sunrise about two hours after I get to work... And it sets on the way home from work. On my way home from work, not the sun's... Uhm...
Anyways. Winter is the one time that I am most happy to be a smoker. You know why? Because I actually get to see the sun in the hour/hour-and-a-half each day it peaks out. Seasonal Affective Disorder? Pffft. Start hanging out with smokers (I would never advocate that you start smoking - it's a disgusting and vile habit) - give yourself an excuse to revel in a few minutes of sunshine every couple of hours. Just stand upwind of the smokers. Do I have a point here? Well, of course I do.
Being able to get outside yesterday during the day and early evening and enjoy the few precious minutes of sunshine had some sort of voodoo effect on me. So, yesterday evening, I went through and checked out a whole schwack of matches. Because I'd been fairly passive up until this point - if someone messaged me, I responded. If someone added me, I added them back. You know, reactive - which, I'm pretty sure, is what everyone's looking for in a partner, right? Clearly. But last night, I actually went through and looked at some matches, decided if I was interested or not (with all the second-guessing and what-if-ing that entails) and took initiative.
Ehm, and it was interesting. What draws me to a profile on the free site? Humour. Followed extremely closely by eloquence. Third, quirkiness. Fourth, attractiveness. One potential match was quite attractive, but his answer to every single section on the profile was "ask me." ... Well, sunshine, that's kind of what is going on in the profile - act as though someone has asked you those questions... and answer them. Just because you're a dreamboat (this is a word I think ought to be brought back. Dreamboat. Epic.) doesn't mean people aren't looking a little deeper.
13.4 Bah! Bah, I say! I realized that this is just not the ideal time to be hunting for a match.
Weekends are all tied up with holiday stuff (or family stuff - leading into holiday stuff) and quite frankly, I'm in bed at nine during the week. Ehm, and possibly on the weekends as well. Because I am, in point of fact, ninety years old. Give me my books or crossword puzzles, a blanket, and a comfortable couch. And a cup of tea. And I'm golden for hours.
But the point is that with the days getting shorter, and with the weekends getting crazier, what on earth was I thinking, continuing this foray right now? And actually *gasp* MEETING with people?!? I'm so sleepy.
As a sidenote, the sponsored links right now, as I am composing this as an e-mail draft, are: "What Really Attracts Men: 10 Secrets to Attracting Your Man, Get Him Hooked for Good!" and "What Really Attracts Guys: 9 Secrets to Attract Your Perfect Guy Into a State of Obsession!"
Mayhaps it's because I'm not in my teens anymore and have in theory been around the block, but the prospect of attracting my perfect guy "into a state of obsession" is more than slightly terrifying. I mean, I like having some creep going through my garbage and following me everywhere as much as the next girl... But sometimes I just want to be able to get my hair cut without watching my man pick up all the clippings for his shrine, you know?
Obsession, indeed. Though I admit that I am curious as to what inane and ridiculous advice the two sites might offer. Not curious enough to visit the sites, however...
... Anyways, have run across some more of those guys who make it seem like I'm pulling teeth to get anything out of them. So, I have stopped communicating with them. lol. Awesome and Nice Guy, with one Potential Weirdo thrown in for kicks, and that's where we're at on the freebies.
13.5 Going out with Awesome again this evening... I do sort of feel like I've been run over by a Mack today. I wonder if it's possible to catch a cold from someone through texting...? So far, I think I've had more colds this autumn/winter than the previous twenty-some years of my life, combined. Stupid.
You know what else is, if not stupid, then at least poorly planned? People who attempt to initiate conversation when there are no photos and no answers on their profile. Especially when the initial message is "hey." Clearly I'm not the busiest person on the planet, but I'm also not particularly interested in one-word communications. Can you imagine how long it would take to actually have the equivalent of a full and complete conversation? Criminy. And when there's nothing to draw from on the profile - nothing for me to respond with "Hey, so I see you're into football... going to the Cup this weekend?" or some such... Well... It just seems like a big ole waste of time all around.
13.6 Didn't get out last night because of the fact that the roads in my city were all skating rinks! Good times. Skidded out twice on my way home... Now, I cross the entire city when I travel to and from work. Guess where I skidded. C'mon, guess! First time - turning on to the road my home is on. Second time - turning into the parkade at my place. Travelling at 80+ most of the way home, on major and poorly maintained routes, and I skid out going less than ten, making left hand turns.
Anyways, Awesome and I agreed the roads were too terrible, and have rescheduled for tomorrow.
Haven't checked the other dudes, but I haven't received any e-mail notifications saying I have new messages, either. Got to go help a neighbour move her bed, then working with the nephews on homework and Christmas present surprises.
13.7 Nothing new to report. I'll probably get on the site later today after I post this, but yesterday was a very busy day!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Normal Girls and Bitterness - Week Twelve
Week Twelve - Final Paid Week!!
(Technically the paid period goes until 13.1, but we're running with the odds that there won't be any earth-shattering matches on that day.)
(Though with my luck, there will be, and I'll have no way to communicate with him.)
12.1 Drumroll, please! No matches. No communications.
*tumbleweed*
*crickets*
*awkward faces*
Right, sooooo.... How about that local sports team, eh? (Who won last night - western finals here we come! Go Stamps Go!)
Running Total on Paid Site:
65 Open (Because I'm too lazy to go through and close em all)
13 Communicating (though none actually are...)
149 Closed
Was it worth the money? I'm thinkin.... 13 (though really 0) divided by 227... carry the one, round up to the next thousandth, divide into even the significantly reduced price I paid... and... NO.
On the free site... continuing to speak with one Awesome, and one Nice Guy. Haven't written back to the jackass. And then there's one that my response is somewhere between ".... Wait, what?" and "Durrrrrrrr." Because, see, his first message to me was a complaint (directed to the airline) about the last flight he was on.
...
...
...
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Well, then.
Also, he's (ahem) "quite a bit older" than I am, apparently has an awkward-but-not-necessarily-in-a-good-way sense of humour, and his profile picture is yet another webcam photo. But a webcam photo with another computer or two in the background. Not a work environment, though. He just has two or three computers on the go at any given time.
I can't handle having two or three conversations on the go at the same time, let alone two or three MMORPGs. (You like RPGs? These are bigger, badder, faster, better!! Lose yourself in a new world all your own, along with millions of others doing the exact same thing at the exact same time.)
Oh, and another one that I am just not hot enough for. I mean, that's what he says, anyways. I think he's just trying to be nice about it. You know, not hurt my feelings or make me think he's a twat focused on the physical and solely looking for a hook-up - that kind of nice guy. But hey, that's his prerogative. I've said it before, physical attraction is important, so I can't really fault him too much for coming right out and saying it, right?
Meh. I'd rather know upfront that having to look at me would be a burden too heavy to bear. As opposed to finding out a little way into it when there's the possibility of actual feelings being involved.
Nope, I quite enjoy the Awesome. Well-read, intellectual, fun, professional, attractive. After the paid site, well... I was beginning to wonder if men like that existed anymore.
Anyways, sent Awesome a message to see if he wants to grab coffee Friday. You know how long it's been since there's been even the tiniest amount of possibility of hanging out with someone I'm interested in? So long that I actually feel a little bit nauseous about it.
12.2 No matches. I clutch at my chest as the surprise threatens to undo the very fabric of my being and cause my heart to implode.
Heard from Nice Guy on the free site. I am a little bit torn on this one. Because he does seem like a Nice Guy, but it also kind of seems... well either forced or sad. As though he feels he has to be nice because that's one of those dating game things - which I am blissfully incapable of - or because he actually is a nice guy, and thinks that nice guys always finish last, so he's sad that he's nice. I can't really tell which at this point.
No word back from Awesome on the free site. If I don't hear back from him by, oh, say Friday, then there'll be awkward faces galore. But right now, not stressing. Still won't be stressing on Friday, just a little disappointed because I do quite enjoy "talking" to him, but I'm looking at it this way - in less than a week on the free site I have "met" and spoken to someone I actually want to meet and get to know better. Whether we will eventually meet up or not is in the air right now. But the interest is there, on my end at least.
And after three months on the paid site, the one that has all the science behind the matching, nothin. One person I chatted with for a few weeks, but aside from him asking me to pack him in my suitcase for my next trip, no talk of getting together. True, he lives a few hours away, but still. Friend material - which is alright by me, as one can never have too many friends - but nothing from him the past few weeks. And while paying to have some science applied to my "dating" scene is one thing, paying to have someone find friends for me is quite another. You know? Nod and agree even if you don't.
Though at the same time, I'd be down with being friends with Awesome - and possibly Nice Guy, but we'll have to see how that goes - because I enjoy him.
Please, higher-power-of-reader's-choice, let him not turn out to be a psycho. Ehm, you know, if he wants to continue the dialogue. (Hrm, no, even if he doesn't want to continue the dialogue, I still hope he's not a psycho)
12.2.1 Sometimes I wonder if one of the matches stumbled across this blog, how would they react? Would they know when I was referring to them? Would they recognize if I didn't mention them at all? Would it hurt their feelings? Would they see something in my reaction that, for whatever reason, strikes a chord with them and maybe gives them an idea about how to change their approach? Or, conversely, that their approach works well on at least one particular type of person? (Namely me, so... someone stupidly shy and more than vaguely ridiculous, and in all other ways really quite average)
Would they understand, if they were someone that I carried on a conversation with for any amount of time, that if I seemed interested - I was, and if I seemed uninterested - I was? That I was genuine in all my responses? That any judgments I may have passed were more reflective of the services used than the people involved? (with the exception of myself - I've stated before that I'm aware this all reflects more on me than on the potential match) Or would they simply focus on the fact that this experience has been detailed on a blog meant for my friends and acquaintances - but technically available for all the world to see?
If any of the matches ever do wander over here, I hope there's no embarrassment or anger. Not just because I can't handle the thought of having someone angry with me, or having hurt someone. But because I wouldn't want to adversely affect any potential happiness the matches have received from these services.
Who am I? I'm nobody. My opinion means - and rightly so - nothing. As I mentioned in the last installment, a friend of mine has had some luck going this route, and I'm genuinely thrilled for her. I'd be thrilled to hear that anyone had some luck going this route. This is simply my tale of an unlucky - so far - few months making this foray.
So, to any previous or current or potential "matches" fuming at my audacity: I am sorry if this has hurt or angered you. That certainly wasn't my intention, which is part of why I've kept uber-private things private, not named names, and selectively edited any communications included in earlier posts. But we all have different ideas of what sort of approach will work - we all put our own spin on that little mating dance. Your spin happened to not do a thing for me.
Or maybe it did, but mine did nothing for you.
Such is life.
I'm not feeling bitter, though. I thought I'd be bitter about the abysmal lack of success... Hrm... So, rather than normal girls and Bitterness, this series should be "Normal Girls and ... Meh." You see what I did there? Change the "h" to an "n" and you get those elusive creatures we've been seeking.
Forgive me. I should drink some coffee now.
Hrm. Checked the paid site, and we have another ten matches that weren't e-mailed to me. Not a one of them within 500 clicks of me.
12.3 Who cares about matches?!?! Tonight I'm going to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra, which has been cause for much *squeee*ing around my house for a few months.
Also, it's my nephew's 13th birthday today.
Also, no matches.
Also, tentatively going for coffee with Awesome on Friday, provided he's able to get away for a bit, and provided he's able to find the place.
12.4 No matches. And the concert was awesome last night. But holy crap, I should have at least taken this morning off. Oh my frickin head.
Couldn't do it - only worked for a half day today. You know when you have a massive headache, and then the headache eases off a bit, but your shoulders and neck are sore from holding your head in a way so as to not jiggle the brain too much? Sure ya do. Don't look at me like that was totally off-topic and irrelevent to this blog.
Also, coffee tomorrow has been confirmed. Numbers have been exchanged. I still have a full day to deal with nerves - goodness I'm a big dork.
Also, checked - just in case there were matches that didn't get emailed. Yes'm. One. Again, not only not within 500 kms of me, but also - conveniently - not in the same country. Handy!
12.5 Are we surprised? No matches.
I woke up in a very positive mood today, which is fairly awesome. Of course, I do have a full day of work ahead of me and all that, but still! Better to start out positive than to start out cranky and go downhill. Though the nerves are a little ridiculous. The problem with being someone who very rarely dates is this: you become someone who very rarely dates. You personify that whole "nervous before every possible meeting" and "oh my gosh what if I make an ass of myself" sort of person. This is, I think we can all agree, oodles of good times.
Yay. No, really. Yay.
Now couple that with being a ridiculous but shy introvert whose mind is always going a mile a minute, and what do you get? The main reason why I occasionally make plans to join a convent.
It's not entirely the aggravation of dealing with the idiocy of certain members of the opposite sex; it's more the aggravation of dealing with my own idiocy and ridiculosity. (Sure, okay, dealing with the idiocy of certain members of the opposite sex is definitely a factor... but roll with me on this one.) I don't like being all giddy and nervous and in a flap over anything - I don't do anything to stop it, but I really don't enjoy it. Especially considering the fact that I am well out of my teens now and in theory ought to have some level of ability to handle the silliness.
Maybe that's the problem I've been having with these dating sites... When it comes to relationships, I'm emotionally stunted at the stage of an eleven-year-old with a crush. What? Men in their late twenties and thirties aren't interested in that?
But that's nonsense!
... yet another e-mail from the current paid site, inviting me to give it a try for free. Seriously. Ridiculous.
One, two, THREE e-mails today from the paid site. Inviting me to try for free.
12.6 Are we shocked? No matches.
I, for one, am shocked and astounded.
Also, had a lovely time last night! It's nice to have someone who actually talks, you know? And we seem to have a lot in common - right down to places we've been hiking. That may not seem like much, but when you live as close to the mountains as I do, you know there are almost an infinite number of hiking areas.
Received a communication from Suitor B - his time on the paid service was up, so he had to wait for a free trial to write back. So we've exchanged e-mails.
12.7 Two matches which of course were not e-mailed to me. Neat.
Both in town, both within the age range - neither with photos, neither with any information on the profile.
SO! The final total (because I will not check again tomorrow):
75 "Open"
14 "Communicating"
152 "Closed"
12 weeks, $60 (total - like I said, I got a big price break), and only really talked to one person. Of 241 people.
But on the other hand - a close friend has met someone who seems awesome (or would seem awesome, I haven't met him yet, but I trust her opinion lol).
Perhaps it's the fact that I'm actually on the free site, and have met someone there who intrigues me, but I'm really not bitter.
Well, maybe a little bitter. I mean... $60 is $60. But I have a feeling that I'll get over that with time. ;)
NEXT WEEK: We go directly into the free site trials, tribulations, and triumphs... If nothing else, it'll be fun.
(Technically the paid period goes until 13.1, but we're running with the odds that there won't be any earth-shattering matches on that day.)
(Though with my luck, there will be, and I'll have no way to communicate with him.)
12.1 Drumroll, please! No matches. No communications.
*tumbleweed*
*crickets*
*awkward faces*
Right, sooooo.... How about that local sports team, eh? (Who won last night - western finals here we come! Go Stamps Go!)
Running Total on Paid Site:
65 Open (Because I'm too lazy to go through and close em all)
13 Communicating (though none actually are...)
149 Closed
Was it worth the money? I'm thinkin.... 13 (though really 0) divided by 227... carry the one, round up to the next thousandth, divide into even the significantly reduced price I paid... and... NO.
On the free site... continuing to speak with one Awesome, and one Nice Guy. Haven't written back to the jackass. And then there's one that my response is somewhere between ".... Wait, what?" and "Durrrrrrrr." Because, see, his first message to me was a complaint (directed to the airline) about the last flight he was on.
...
...
...
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Well, then.
Also, he's (ahem) "quite a bit older" than I am, apparently has an awkward-but-not-necessarily-in-a-good-way sense of humour, and his profile picture is yet another webcam photo. But a webcam photo with another computer or two in the background. Not a work environment, though. He just has two or three computers on the go at any given time.
I can't handle having two or three conversations on the go at the same time, let alone two or three MMORPGs. (You like RPGs? These are bigger, badder, faster, better!! Lose yourself in a new world all your own, along with millions of others doing the exact same thing at the exact same time.)
Oh, and another one that I am just not hot enough for. I mean, that's what he says, anyways. I think he's just trying to be nice about it. You know, not hurt my feelings or make me think he's a twat focused on the physical and solely looking for a hook-up - that kind of nice guy. But hey, that's his prerogative. I've said it before, physical attraction is important, so I can't really fault him too much for coming right out and saying it, right?
Meh. I'd rather know upfront that having to look at me would be a burden too heavy to bear. As opposed to finding out a little way into it when there's the possibility of actual feelings being involved.
Nope, I quite enjoy the Awesome. Well-read, intellectual, fun, professional, attractive. After the paid site, well... I was beginning to wonder if men like that existed anymore.
Anyways, sent Awesome a message to see if he wants to grab coffee Friday. You know how long it's been since there's been even the tiniest amount of possibility of hanging out with someone I'm interested in? So long that I actually feel a little bit nauseous about it.
12.2 No matches. I clutch at my chest as the surprise threatens to undo the very fabric of my being and cause my heart to implode.
Heard from Nice Guy on the free site. I am a little bit torn on this one. Because he does seem like a Nice Guy, but it also kind of seems... well either forced or sad. As though he feels he has to be nice because that's one of those dating game things - which I am blissfully incapable of - or because he actually is a nice guy, and thinks that nice guys always finish last, so he's sad that he's nice. I can't really tell which at this point.
No word back from Awesome on the free site. If I don't hear back from him by, oh, say Friday, then there'll be awkward faces galore. But right now, not stressing. Still won't be stressing on Friday, just a little disappointed because I do quite enjoy "talking" to him, but I'm looking at it this way - in less than a week on the free site I have "met" and spoken to someone I actually want to meet and get to know better. Whether we will eventually meet up or not is in the air right now. But the interest is there, on my end at least.
And after three months on the paid site, the one that has all the science behind the matching, nothin. One person I chatted with for a few weeks, but aside from him asking me to pack him in my suitcase for my next trip, no talk of getting together. True, he lives a few hours away, but still. Friend material - which is alright by me, as one can never have too many friends - but nothing from him the past few weeks. And while paying to have some science applied to my "dating" scene is one thing, paying to have someone find friends for me is quite another. You know? Nod and agree even if you don't.
Though at the same time, I'd be down with being friends with Awesome - and possibly Nice Guy, but we'll have to see how that goes - because I enjoy him.
Please, higher-power-of-reader's-choice, let him not turn out to be a psycho. Ehm, you know, if he wants to continue the dialogue. (Hrm, no, even if he doesn't want to continue the dialogue, I still hope he's not a psycho)
12.2.1 Sometimes I wonder if one of the matches stumbled across this blog, how would they react? Would they know when I was referring to them? Would they recognize if I didn't mention them at all? Would it hurt their feelings? Would they see something in my reaction that, for whatever reason, strikes a chord with them and maybe gives them an idea about how to change their approach? Or, conversely, that their approach works well on at least one particular type of person? (Namely me, so... someone stupidly shy and more than vaguely ridiculous, and in all other ways really quite average)
Would they understand, if they were someone that I carried on a conversation with for any amount of time, that if I seemed interested - I was, and if I seemed uninterested - I was? That I was genuine in all my responses? That any judgments I may have passed were more reflective of the services used than the people involved? (with the exception of myself - I've stated before that I'm aware this all reflects more on me than on the potential match) Or would they simply focus on the fact that this experience has been detailed on a blog meant for my friends and acquaintances - but technically available for all the world to see?
If any of the matches ever do wander over here, I hope there's no embarrassment or anger. Not just because I can't handle the thought of having someone angry with me, or having hurt someone. But because I wouldn't want to adversely affect any potential happiness the matches have received from these services.
Who am I? I'm nobody. My opinion means - and rightly so - nothing. As I mentioned in the last installment, a friend of mine has had some luck going this route, and I'm genuinely thrilled for her. I'd be thrilled to hear that anyone had some luck going this route. This is simply my tale of an unlucky - so far - few months making this foray.
So, to any previous or current or potential "matches" fuming at my audacity: I am sorry if this has hurt or angered you. That certainly wasn't my intention, which is part of why I've kept uber-private things private, not named names, and selectively edited any communications included in earlier posts. But we all have different ideas of what sort of approach will work - we all put our own spin on that little mating dance. Your spin happened to not do a thing for me.
Or maybe it did, but mine did nothing for you.
Such is life.
I'm not feeling bitter, though. I thought I'd be bitter about the abysmal lack of success... Hrm... So, rather than normal girls and Bitterness, this series should be "Normal Girls and ... Meh." You see what I did there? Change the "h" to an "n" and you get those elusive creatures we've been seeking.
Forgive me. I should drink some coffee now.
Hrm. Checked the paid site, and we have another ten matches that weren't e-mailed to me. Not a one of them within 500 clicks of me.
12.3 Who cares about matches?!?! Tonight I'm going to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra, which has been cause for much *squeee*ing around my house for a few months.
Also, it's my nephew's 13th birthday today.
Also, no matches.
Also, tentatively going for coffee with Awesome on Friday, provided he's able to get away for a bit, and provided he's able to find the place.
12.4 No matches. And the concert was awesome last night. But holy crap, I should have at least taken this morning off. Oh my frickin head.
Couldn't do it - only worked for a half day today. You know when you have a massive headache, and then the headache eases off a bit, but your shoulders and neck are sore from holding your head in a way so as to not jiggle the brain too much? Sure ya do. Don't look at me like that was totally off-topic and irrelevent to this blog.
Also, coffee tomorrow has been confirmed. Numbers have been exchanged. I still have a full day to deal with nerves - goodness I'm a big dork.
Also, checked - just in case there were matches that didn't get emailed. Yes'm. One. Again, not only not within 500 kms of me, but also - conveniently - not in the same country. Handy!
12.5 Are we surprised? No matches.
I woke up in a very positive mood today, which is fairly awesome. Of course, I do have a full day of work ahead of me and all that, but still! Better to start out positive than to start out cranky and go downhill. Though the nerves are a little ridiculous. The problem with being someone who very rarely dates is this: you become someone who very rarely dates. You personify that whole "nervous before every possible meeting" and "oh my gosh what if I make an ass of myself" sort of person. This is, I think we can all agree, oodles of good times.
Yay. No, really. Yay.
Now couple that with being a ridiculous but shy introvert whose mind is always going a mile a minute, and what do you get? The main reason why I occasionally make plans to join a convent.
It's not entirely the aggravation of dealing with the idiocy of certain members of the opposite sex; it's more the aggravation of dealing with my own idiocy and ridiculosity. (Sure, okay, dealing with the idiocy of certain members of the opposite sex is definitely a factor... but roll with me on this one.) I don't like being all giddy and nervous and in a flap over anything - I don't do anything to stop it, but I really don't enjoy it. Especially considering the fact that I am well out of my teens now and in theory ought to have some level of ability to handle the silliness.
Maybe that's the problem I've been having with these dating sites... When it comes to relationships, I'm emotionally stunted at the stage of an eleven-year-old with a crush. What? Men in their late twenties and thirties aren't interested in that?
But that's nonsense!
... yet another e-mail from the current paid site, inviting me to give it a try for free. Seriously. Ridiculous.
One, two, THREE e-mails today from the paid site. Inviting me to try for free.
12.6 Are we shocked? No matches.
I, for one, am shocked and astounded.
Also, had a lovely time last night! It's nice to have someone who actually talks, you know? And we seem to have a lot in common - right down to places we've been hiking. That may not seem like much, but when you live as close to the mountains as I do, you know there are almost an infinite number of hiking areas.
Received a communication from Suitor B - his time on the paid service was up, so he had to wait for a free trial to write back. So we've exchanged e-mails.
12.7 Two matches which of course were not e-mailed to me. Neat.
Both in town, both within the age range - neither with photos, neither with any information on the profile.
SO! The final total (because I will not check again tomorrow):
75 "Open"
14 "Communicating"
152 "Closed"
12 weeks, $60 (total - like I said, I got a big price break), and only really talked to one person. Of 241 people.
But on the other hand - a close friend has met someone who seems awesome (or would seem awesome, I haven't met him yet, but I trust her opinion lol).
Perhaps it's the fact that I'm actually on the free site, and have met someone there who intrigues me, but I'm really not bitter.
Well, maybe a little bitter. I mean... $60 is $60. But I have a feeling that I'll get over that with time. ;)
NEXT WEEK: We go directly into the free site trials, tribulations, and triumphs... If nothing else, it'll be fun.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Normal Girls and Bitterness - Part Eleven
Week Eleven
11.0 (aka 10.7 after week ten had been posted) Found out today that someone I know has had success with this service!
That's quite exciting, actually. I was beginning to wonder if all the ads for this site were somewhat falsified... But I am very happy for this person, and also glad to hear that there is hope for those users who may be in the same boat as me. Or, at least, a similar boat. I didn't invite anyone into my boat and I don't have enough PFDs to go around.
11.1 Seven matches but won't get a chance to check em until later this evening.
Alrighty then. First one? His profile picture is him with his tongue down a cheerleader's throat. Yes, well, your obvious interest in a long-term relationship notwithstanding, I think this match shall be closed. Also, too young and in another province.
Another too young. And all of his photos are of him and his mom. Potentially cute, but when you've uploaded eleven photos...
One with 17 words - total - on his profile. Not in my province, so no sadness about closing this one.
Mmmmm 18 words, two photos, both chugging a beer.
Oh, and one who has closed the match before I got a chance to take a look. Cool. Makes it easier.
11.2 Four matches and I'm thinking "sitting on" the free site might not happen.
Why? Because I've already been chatting with four people. Lol. One of them seems like a bit of a jackass, but the other three are kind of awesome.
K. One (on paid site) - "kinda scared of spiders." Sorry, bub. Someone's gotta deal with the spiders, and based on the fact that I squeal like a little girl and can't breathe when there's a spider... Just... Sorry.
Two. NEW WINNER. 12 words on his profile. Oy.
The other two are firmly "meh."
11.3 REMEMBER. (11-11-09)
One match. Cute, but cute in the cuddly "ooshoobooo ain't you adorable?!?!" sort of way.
One match on the free site - one of the "awesome" ones - wants to go forward in communication. Now, on the free site, you send messages right off the bat, so going forward in communication means meeting or talking on the phone. As I am the biggest shy nerd on the planet, I quiver in my boots.
11.4 No matches. Bah.
Going to keep chatting with the awesome on the free site for awhile. *grin*
11.5 Buh duh-duh-DUH! No matches.
You knew that was going to happen, right?
On the free site... The reason why I like the awesome? We've been discussing Hesse's body of work and narcissism. He's well-read, he's employed, he's attractive, and he has a sense of humour.
11.6 No matches.
Woken up at an ungodly hour on my day off to go down to Waterton.
Guess what? Everything's closed for the season. ... neat. Nothing quite like six hours or so in the car to take one photo, almost hit a deer, have the regular teahouse closed, and do no "hiking."
Ahhhhhh Saturdays in winter.
11.7 GAH! Okay, no e-mail from the site, but I signed on anyways and find... Ten matches that have shown up this week (in theory) but... you know... whatever. No notification to me within the last few days.
ONE in my city. No photo, no info.
As to the free site, though... Well, let's just say it's working out a little better than the paid site, and we'll leave it at that for this week. No dissertations or theses this time, I realize. I apologize, it's been a little hectic this week!
11.0 (aka 10.7 after week ten had been posted) Found out today that someone I know has had success with this service!
That's quite exciting, actually. I was beginning to wonder if all the ads for this site were somewhat falsified... But I am very happy for this person, and also glad to hear that there is hope for those users who may be in the same boat as me. Or, at least, a similar boat. I didn't invite anyone into my boat and I don't have enough PFDs to go around.
11.1 Seven matches but won't get a chance to check em until later this evening.
Alrighty then. First one? His profile picture is him with his tongue down a cheerleader's throat. Yes, well, your obvious interest in a long-term relationship notwithstanding, I think this match shall be closed. Also, too young and in another province.
Another too young. And all of his photos are of him and his mom. Potentially cute, but when you've uploaded eleven photos...
One with 17 words - total - on his profile. Not in my province, so no sadness about closing this one.
Mmmmm 18 words, two photos, both chugging a beer.
Oh, and one who has closed the match before I got a chance to take a look. Cool. Makes it easier.
11.2 Four matches and I'm thinking "sitting on" the free site might not happen.
Why? Because I've already been chatting with four people. Lol. One of them seems like a bit of a jackass, but the other three are kind of awesome.
K. One (on paid site) - "kinda scared of spiders." Sorry, bub. Someone's gotta deal with the spiders, and based on the fact that I squeal like a little girl and can't breathe when there's a spider... Just... Sorry.
Two. NEW WINNER. 12 words on his profile. Oy.
The other two are firmly "meh."
11.3 REMEMBER. (11-11-09)
One match. Cute, but cute in the cuddly "ooshoobooo ain't you adorable?!?!" sort of way.
One match on the free site - one of the "awesome" ones - wants to go forward in communication. Now, on the free site, you send messages right off the bat, so going forward in communication means meeting or talking on the phone. As I am the biggest shy nerd on the planet, I quiver in my boots.
11.4 No matches. Bah.
Going to keep chatting with the awesome on the free site for awhile. *grin*
11.5 Buh duh-duh-DUH! No matches.
You knew that was going to happen, right?
On the free site... The reason why I like the awesome? We've been discussing Hesse's body of work and narcissism. He's well-read, he's employed, he's attractive, and he has a sense of humour.
11.6 No matches.
Woken up at an ungodly hour on my day off to go down to Waterton.
Guess what? Everything's closed for the season. ... neat. Nothing quite like six hours or so in the car to take one photo, almost hit a deer, have the regular teahouse closed, and do no "hiking."
Ahhhhhh Saturdays in winter.
11.7 GAH! Okay, no e-mail from the site, but I signed on anyways and find... Ten matches that have shown up this week (in theory) but... you know... whatever. No notification to me within the last few days.
ONE in my city. No photo, no info.
As to the free site, though... Well, let's just say it's working out a little better than the paid site, and we'll leave it at that for this week. No dissertations or theses this time, I realize. I apologize, it's been a little hectic this week!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Normal Girls and Bitterness - Part Ten
Yeah, I changed the layout. You wanna fight about it?
Week Ten
10.1 No matches. I would say that I am shocked, but that would be a foul and shameless lie. Also, no new communications. No new closures.
On the plus side, this cold is kicking my ass slightly less than it was a few days ago.
I lied! I have a match. I counted the words in his answers to all the myriad questions asked on your profile. 37. THIRTY-SEVEN words, no photos. I am neither intrigued nor fascinated.
I went ahead and cancelled my subscription, so when my final month is up (as of November 23), I will no longer be a part of this service. I might take a week or so off, listen to some Tori Amos and Alanis, cry in the bubble bath as I sip my mimosas at eight o'clock in the morning - because of course I'll be too broken up to work - and then jump into one of the free sites.
Because, of course, I am bizarrely resilient and a week is all I'll need to get over my devastation.
Right? RIGHT?!
Who knows? Maybe in the next three weeks, Mr. Right'll come along.
10.2 As of 6:30 am, no matches.
Interesting, though - I have received an "introductory" e-mail from the very site I have been dealing with for the past two months. For this weekend only, I can have free access. ... ... Do you think it might be a good idea to perhaps check the e-mail addresses of those suckers - ehm, I mean users - who are already a part of the site?
Because, you know, I'm definitely going to recommend this service to my friends. I realize it has been only two months and obviously there's not much room for in-depth analysis, but... In two months of hitting up galleries and shows, or essentially going ANYWHERE, chances are better than even that I'd have met someone. Maybe not "THE ONE" but someone, nonetheless. But I work 50 hours a week - not a horrible amount, but enough - and spend my weekends with my family. The online thing was supposed to increase one's chances of finding true love, nay?
I almost managed to type that with a straight face. Almost.
In two months, I had steady communication with one person - with whom there has been no communication for a few weeks now. I didn't even come close to having a match that would bear a face-to-face meeting, with the exception of Suitor B. But Suitor B lives a few hours away, and there was a "friend" spark there more than anything else - also, we haven't communicated for a few weeks.
See? Communication is important. Not necessarily in the "let's spend the first two hours after we both get home talking about our feelings and then we can braid each other's hair and you can paint my toenails and it'll be a perfect relationship because you're the best boyfriend ever EVER" sort of way. But in the "hi. Um, who are you?" sort of way. You know, in the sense that we can't even begin to fathom what - if anything - we have in common if you do not say anything. Criminy. Non-committal grunts aren't even present, because it's online.
I don't need your life story from conception to present, but give me something to work with here.
Especially if you have not posted a photo. If there's no physical attractiveness to catch a match's eye - and I'm not saying these people are unattractive, because I clearly wouldn't know... there being NO PHOTO - and if you have done the cyber version of phoning in your profile... why are you wasting your time? It's not a waste of my time, obviously, because it gives me something to rant about. It also, conveniently, gives me something to second-guess myself about. Because... what if you were the one? What if, had I started communication with you irrespective of the fact that there's no info and no photo on your profile, you had turned out to be exactly what I needed? And, more importantly, I turned out to be what you needed?
Oy.
10.3 Again, no matches... But I did force a match this evening. Has his occupation listed as "Professional." Not really sure where to go with that, but he's a fan of the mountains, so I've requested to start communication.
Nothing from anyone else.
10.4 ... Nothing. So this might be how it is for the remaining time at this site. That would be a pity - I spent the first week, you'll remember, being sort of banned from receiving matches. To spend the final two and a half weeks also with no matches? Considering the resounding lack of action on any of the matches I have received, I think three and a half weeks of nothing on top of that might be overkill.
Almost as though someone has taken my desire to continue the foray into online dating and hanged it, riddled it with birdshot, beheaded it, and thrown it off a craggy cliff into crocodile and shark-infested water.
That kind of overkill...
I even tried to force a match. Nada.
10.4.1 I am addicted to surveys, I think because I am constantly writing, and surveys provide brainless ammunition. Anyways, I went ahead and signed up for a free site that I'll sit on for awhile after I finish with this particular experiment. This free site also - unsurprisingly - has surveys to answer in order to ensure the best possible match.
Excuse me whilst I laugh my derriere off.
Hrm. Yes, so one of the questions on one of the surveys - and in fact, it's a question that is asked on a lot of the "Get to Know Your Friends" type surveys that float around and give me hours of enjoyment - was this:
Would you rather have a best friend or a lover?
Uhm... I'm sorry, when did the two become mutually exclusive? This question bugs me. Of course, being a multiple-choice survey (so not really the sort that I'm big on), I couldn't write in my standard answer. Which is: "When did the two become mutually exclusive?" Yes, answering a question with a question. Wretched of me, I'm sure. Shove off now.
But if anyone can tell me in a sensical way, why a person must select either of those answers rather than BOTH, I will be eternally in your debt. Sure, I'm big on physical attraction and all the juicy trimmings, but I kind of thought that friendship was a given. "Oh, honey, I think you're about the sexiest person ever to walk the planet. But you're a complete and utter jackass and every moment spent in your presence brings me one moment closer to {insert horrible activity here}."
Sure, that's okay if all you're looking for is a physical relationship, but... For anything remotely lasting, can you really survive on just the trimmings? I'm asking, honestly.
Can people do this and be happy? And if so, who are these people? Why are they so fundamentally different than I am?
Heavens, what if that's all there is?
10.5 OH MY GOODNESS HOW EXCITING!!! No matches.
Tried to force a match, and nothin.
10.6 What's this?!?! Three matches!
All of them "self employed" and two - seriously, TWO - with main profile pictures taken on a webcam, with a blue tooth stuck in one ear and a "serious" look.
But I forced four more... Again, nothing intriguing.
10.7 Seven matches today. None had answers longer than a sentence or two for the questions on their profile. None had a fully-filled out profile. All were flexible matches.
Four with no photos.
One in my city.
Six no closer than 200 clicks to my city.
Why, hello, ennui. How vaguely boring of you to show up.
Week Ten
10.1 No matches. I would say that I am shocked, but that would be a foul and shameless lie. Also, no new communications. No new closures.
On the plus side, this cold is kicking my ass slightly less than it was a few days ago.
I lied! I have a match. I counted the words in his answers to all the myriad questions asked on your profile. 37. THIRTY-SEVEN words, no photos. I am neither intrigued nor fascinated.
I went ahead and cancelled my subscription, so when my final month is up (as of November 23), I will no longer be a part of this service. I might take a week or so off, listen to some Tori Amos and Alanis, cry in the bubble bath as I sip my mimosas at eight o'clock in the morning - because of course I'll be too broken up to work - and then jump into one of the free sites.
Because, of course, I am bizarrely resilient and a week is all I'll need to get over my devastation.
Right? RIGHT?!
Who knows? Maybe in the next three weeks, Mr. Right'll come along.
10.2 As of 6:30 am, no matches.
Interesting, though - I have received an "introductory" e-mail from the very site I have been dealing with for the past two months. For this weekend only, I can have free access. ... ... Do you think it might be a good idea to perhaps check the e-mail addresses of those suckers - ehm, I mean users - who are already a part of the site?
Because, you know, I'm definitely going to recommend this service to my friends. I realize it has been only two months and obviously there's not much room for in-depth analysis, but... In two months of hitting up galleries and shows, or essentially going ANYWHERE, chances are better than even that I'd have met someone. Maybe not "THE ONE" but someone, nonetheless. But I work 50 hours a week - not a horrible amount, but enough - and spend my weekends with my family. The online thing was supposed to increase one's chances of finding true love, nay?
I almost managed to type that with a straight face. Almost.
In two months, I had steady communication with one person - with whom there has been no communication for a few weeks now. I didn't even come close to having a match that would bear a face-to-face meeting, with the exception of Suitor B. But Suitor B lives a few hours away, and there was a "friend" spark there more than anything else - also, we haven't communicated for a few weeks.
See? Communication is important. Not necessarily in the "let's spend the first two hours after we both get home talking about our feelings and then we can braid each other's hair and you can paint my toenails and it'll be a perfect relationship because you're the best boyfriend ever EVER" sort of way. But in the "hi. Um, who are you?" sort of way. You know, in the sense that we can't even begin to fathom what - if anything - we have in common if you do not say anything. Criminy. Non-committal grunts aren't even present, because it's online.
I don't need your life story from conception to present, but give me something to work with here.
Especially if you have not posted a photo. If there's no physical attractiveness to catch a match's eye - and I'm not saying these people are unattractive, because I clearly wouldn't know... there being NO PHOTO - and if you have done the cyber version of phoning in your profile... why are you wasting your time? It's not a waste of my time, obviously, because it gives me something to rant about. It also, conveniently, gives me something to second-guess myself about. Because... what if you were the one? What if, had I started communication with you irrespective of the fact that there's no info and no photo on your profile, you had turned out to be exactly what I needed? And, more importantly, I turned out to be what you needed?
Oy.
10.3 Again, no matches... But I did force a match this evening. Has his occupation listed as "Professional." Not really sure where to go with that, but he's a fan of the mountains, so I've requested to start communication.
Nothing from anyone else.
10.4 ... Nothing. So this might be how it is for the remaining time at this site. That would be a pity - I spent the first week, you'll remember, being sort of banned from receiving matches. To spend the final two and a half weeks also with no matches? Considering the resounding lack of action on any of the matches I have received, I think three and a half weeks of nothing on top of that might be overkill.
Almost as though someone has taken my desire to continue the foray into online dating and hanged it, riddled it with birdshot, beheaded it, and thrown it off a craggy cliff into crocodile and shark-infested water.
That kind of overkill...
I even tried to force a match. Nada.
10.4.1 I am addicted to surveys, I think because I am constantly writing, and surveys provide brainless ammunition. Anyways, I went ahead and signed up for a free site that I'll sit on for awhile after I finish with this particular experiment. This free site also - unsurprisingly - has surveys to answer in order to ensure the best possible match.
Excuse me whilst I laugh my derriere off.
Hrm. Yes, so one of the questions on one of the surveys - and in fact, it's a question that is asked on a lot of the "Get to Know Your Friends" type surveys that float around and give me hours of enjoyment - was this:
Would you rather have a best friend or a lover?
Uhm... I'm sorry, when did the two become mutually exclusive? This question bugs me. Of course, being a multiple-choice survey (so not really the sort that I'm big on), I couldn't write in my standard answer. Which is: "When did the two become mutually exclusive?" Yes, answering a question with a question. Wretched of me, I'm sure. Shove off now.
But if anyone can tell me in a sensical way, why a person must select either of those answers rather than BOTH, I will be eternally in your debt. Sure, I'm big on physical attraction and all the juicy trimmings, but I kind of thought that friendship was a given. "Oh, honey, I think you're about the sexiest person ever to walk the planet. But you're a complete and utter jackass and every moment spent in your presence brings me one moment closer to {insert horrible activity here}."
Sure, that's okay if all you're looking for is a physical relationship, but... For anything remotely lasting, can you really survive on just the trimmings? I'm asking, honestly.
Can people do this and be happy? And if so, who are these people? Why are they so fundamentally different than I am?
Heavens, what if that's all there is?
10.5 OH MY GOODNESS HOW EXCITING!!! No matches.
Tried to force a match, and nothin.
10.6 What's this?!?! Three matches!
All of them "self employed" and two - seriously, TWO - with main profile pictures taken on a webcam, with a blue tooth stuck in one ear and a "serious" look.
But I forced four more... Again, nothing intriguing.
10.7 Seven matches today. None had answers longer than a sentence or two for the questions on their profile. None had a fully-filled out profile. All were flexible matches.
Four with no photos.
One in my city.
Six no closer than 200 clicks to my city.
Why, hello, ennui. How vaguely boring of you to show up.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Normal Girls and Bitterness - Part Nine
First things first - you may have noticed I've updated my profile here on blogger... No? You didn't notice, eh? Well, go check it out. I'll wait.
Right, so there's e-mail there now, as well as a link to my other blog. Letters, Rants, and Raves contains pretty much everything I babble about aside from the Normal Girls and Bitterness series. I have placed a "parental advisory"-type label on it, because quite frankly sometimes I have a potty mouth and/or delve into subjects I perhaps shouldn't. And the e-mail, well... What can I say? I'm on the computer all day for work, and check my e-mail when I'm bored - which is often. So any questions, concerns, harassments, etc, about either blog can be left either as a comment - which will have to be approved by yours truly prior to being shown as public - or via e-mail.
Moving right along...
Week Nine
9.1 - 9.2 Okay, was away for four days, from Friday until Tuesday (in effect). Hence the early posting last week. Three matches in that time - none of whom I've checked out yet. Just got in to work for the week and am struggling to keep my eyes open. Remind me, in the future, to take a half day off after eight hours of traveling. Mmmmk? Mmmk.
A few things occurred to me whilst away: Number one - goodness, this whole idea of finding a match is exhausting. I think I had it right a few years ago when I put other people in charge of my lovelife. Sure, there was no action then either, but at least the potential was a bit higher. I am not any more "unique" than anyone else, but perhaps my heightened level of quirkiness (read: weirdness and ridiculosity) is a strike against me in the scientific-matching world.
This leads directly into Number two: are there any built-in filters for wild cards, I wonder, with this current service? Here we have someone (ehm... me) who is in her mid-to-late twenties, who occasionally acts like she's three years old, and occasionally acts like she's one hundred and three years old. Someone who doesn't "get" romance - not entirely averse to the idea, but it's not really something I have a whole heck of a lot of experience with. Is my life any worse off because of that? I don't think so, but at the same time, you can't possibly know what you've been missing until you experience it, right?
Oh dear, but I sincerely hope this doesn't start to become a dating version of Flowers for Algernon... *awkward face*
My point is that I know that I am not the only person in the world like this. There are probably about 3 billion other people like me, and I am curious as to whether or not the service is able to determine the best matches for us...
And Number three: Bah. Okay, number three is mainly brought about by the number of romcoms I've watched lately. I understand the whole point of a romcom is that warm, fuzzy feeling, but the flicks I've seen the last little while really hit below the belt, because the main characters were even more - it seemed to me, anyways - diametrically opposed than usual. Sure, opposites attract blah blah blah, but not to that extent. I am one of those nerds who honestly gets a kick out of people around me - either friends and family or complete strangers - being genuinely happy. It makes my day, even if I don't know the person. (the exponential growth of happiness, which is a long blurb already posted on my other blog Letters, Rants, and Raves)
So.... what? My best match would be someone who thrives on anger and hurt? Someone whose happiness is dependent on the amount of dismay around them? Ugh. Methinks not. I'd have to smack them about the face with a wet noodle on a regular basis. I was a teenager once, and I did the angsty "oh woe is me, the world is out to get me, no one understands me" thing. I don't get on well with people who think the fates have aligned to malign them.
So sending me a match who states: "I'm not interested in someone who cheats or lies or disrespects me. If you are a liar, don't bother. As long as you don't cheat, we'll get along fine" saddens me. It's upsetting that this person has been so hurt by previous relationships that they're preparing for the worst even before anything starts. I'm also not interested in someone who cheats or lies or disprespects myself or others - I don't know anyone who is interested in that sort of relationship... But it's not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of what I would say to any potential matches.
Okay, so finally (after work) got a chance to check my matches.
One in my town - a photographer, so you know I had to open communication. But no photos.
One in a nearby town - we'll see. Nothing jumping out at me there other than atrocious spelling. But I'm trying to get past it.
One in another country - closed. No interest in moving to Idaho, thanks.
9.3 No matches... No communications. Will check after work if there are any new closed matches.
But I found out today that my nephew - who, in three weeks, will be thirteen - has a date to his school Halloween dance. Not only does it make me feel impossibly ancient that he's old enough to have a date, but c'mon! Really?!? Someone, somewhere, is having a laugh at my expense.
I think maybe I'll take up knitting this weekend, get a head start on my afghan for the rocker on the porch. I may be that person earlier than I had expected...
HA! Forced a match. ... Nothing exciting, though. No info, no photos, no excitement.
Bah.
9.3.1 Soulmates and all that jazz... Something that is asked a fair amount - uhm, in online surveys... the type you fill out and spam your friends with... not that I ever do these... *cough* - is whether or not you believe in soulmates.
I do. Do I believe in the Hollywood-ized version of boy meets girl, boy and girl can't breathe without being with each other, boy and girl overcome ridiculous amounts of adversity just to experience the beauty of being together? (See also: boy meets boy, girl meets girl, etc) Sure. I don't think it's for everyone, though. I don't think there are enough Cinderella stories to go around.
I do, however, believe that everyone - every single person on the planet - meets people that are integral to our development or evolution. Those friends who just felt like home right away. The enemies (or what have you) who instantly caused your hackles to raise. The people who act as a river that takes you from one place to another - that are absolutely imperative to your existence, but that don't necessarily hang around in your mind after the fact.
I think everyone you meet changes you, but we rarely acknowledge the change. But sometimes, every now and then, something clicks - and whether we are brave enough to tackle the opportunity doesn't really matter. The tide comes in and goes out without any acknowledgement, right? We don't have to stand there and say "Mmmk. Go now." lest the beaches be constantly flooded.
Some people are a force of nature all on their very own.
Am I holding my breath to meet someone like that online? Nah. But a little glimmer of a tidal wave would be alright. A little motion in the ocean...? *winces* Sorry, but I had to.
9.4 One match that wasn't the match I forced last night. On the young side of my preferred age range, but still within it. Once again, hardly anything on his profile, and no photos.
No new communications, no new closed matches, no new nothin. I had thought that Acerbity was a bit of a bigger place, but it would appear we are chugging right along. I'm not entirely sure, at this point, if this train does go all the way to Bitterness - right now we're heading through the county of Self-Review. There's really no way of knowing which direction we'll head - either towards Bitterness or circling back to Complacence where it all began.
Well, Complacence with a side order of knitting, old-school Alanis Morissette, and sitting on the porch rocker with a blanket and a couple dozen cats...
But at least I'll be a content spinster.
9.5 No matches which is fine with me. I've got a devil of a cold. I'm going to go curl up on the couch and die for a few hours.
9.6 Two matches, one of whom is within my province. He is 36, an investment advisor, and wants to find someone who finds the positive in life and enjoys having fun.
Hrm. Also, quite attractive. Communication requested.
Still sick.
9.7 No new matches and no new communications.
On the plus side - no new closures... Sad that the only "good" news is the lack of "bad" news. Then again, it is the weekend, and perhaps the new gentlemen from yesterday just haven't checked their accounts yet...
Right, so there's e-mail there now, as well as a link to my other blog. Letters, Rants, and Raves contains pretty much everything I babble about aside from the Normal Girls and Bitterness series. I have placed a "parental advisory"-type label on it, because quite frankly sometimes I have a potty mouth and/or delve into subjects I perhaps shouldn't. And the e-mail, well... What can I say? I'm on the computer all day for work, and check my e-mail when I'm bored - which is often. So any questions, concerns, harassments, etc, about either blog can be left either as a comment - which will have to be approved by yours truly prior to being shown as public - or via e-mail.
Moving right along...
Week Nine
9.1 - 9.2 Okay, was away for four days, from Friday until Tuesday (in effect). Hence the early posting last week. Three matches in that time - none of whom I've checked out yet. Just got in to work for the week and am struggling to keep my eyes open. Remind me, in the future, to take a half day off after eight hours of traveling. Mmmmk? Mmmk.
A few things occurred to me whilst away: Number one - goodness, this whole idea of finding a match is exhausting. I think I had it right a few years ago when I put other people in charge of my lovelife. Sure, there was no action then either, but at least the potential was a bit higher. I am not any more "unique" than anyone else, but perhaps my heightened level of quirkiness (read: weirdness and ridiculosity) is a strike against me in the scientific-matching world.
This leads directly into Number two: are there any built-in filters for wild cards, I wonder, with this current service? Here we have someone (ehm... me) who is in her mid-to-late twenties, who occasionally acts like she's three years old, and occasionally acts like she's one hundred and three years old. Someone who doesn't "get" romance - not entirely averse to the idea, but it's not really something I have a whole heck of a lot of experience with. Is my life any worse off because of that? I don't think so, but at the same time, you can't possibly know what you've been missing until you experience it, right?
Oh dear, but I sincerely hope this doesn't start to become a dating version of Flowers for Algernon... *awkward face*
My point is that I know that I am not the only person in the world like this. There are probably about 3 billion other people like me, and I am curious as to whether or not the service is able to determine the best matches for us...
And Number three: Bah. Okay, number three is mainly brought about by the number of romcoms I've watched lately. I understand the whole point of a romcom is that warm, fuzzy feeling, but the flicks I've seen the last little while really hit below the belt, because the main characters were even more - it seemed to me, anyways - diametrically opposed than usual. Sure, opposites attract blah blah blah, but not to that extent. I am one of those nerds who honestly gets a kick out of people around me - either friends and family or complete strangers - being genuinely happy. It makes my day, even if I don't know the person. (the exponential growth of happiness, which is a long blurb already posted on my other blog Letters, Rants, and Raves)
So.... what? My best match would be someone who thrives on anger and hurt? Someone whose happiness is dependent on the amount of dismay around them? Ugh. Methinks not. I'd have to smack them about the face with a wet noodle on a regular basis. I was a teenager once, and I did the angsty "oh woe is me, the world is out to get me, no one understands me" thing. I don't get on well with people who think the fates have aligned to malign them.
So sending me a match who states: "I'm not interested in someone who cheats or lies or disrespects me. If you are a liar, don't bother. As long as you don't cheat, we'll get along fine" saddens me. It's upsetting that this person has been so hurt by previous relationships that they're preparing for the worst even before anything starts. I'm also not interested in someone who cheats or lies or disprespects myself or others - I don't know anyone who is interested in that sort of relationship... But it's not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of what I would say to any potential matches.
Okay, so finally (after work) got a chance to check my matches.
One in my town - a photographer, so you know I had to open communication. But no photos.
One in a nearby town - we'll see. Nothing jumping out at me there other than atrocious spelling. But I'm trying to get past it.
One in another country - closed. No interest in moving to Idaho, thanks.
9.3 No matches... No communications. Will check after work if there are any new closed matches.
But I found out today that my nephew - who, in three weeks, will be thirteen - has a date to his school Halloween dance. Not only does it make me feel impossibly ancient that he's old enough to have a date, but c'mon! Really?!? Someone, somewhere, is having a laugh at my expense.
I think maybe I'll take up knitting this weekend, get a head start on my afghan for the rocker on the porch. I may be that person earlier than I had expected...
HA! Forced a match. ... Nothing exciting, though. No info, no photos, no excitement.
Bah.
9.3.1 Soulmates and all that jazz... Something that is asked a fair amount - uhm, in online surveys... the type you fill out and spam your friends with... not that I ever do these... *cough* - is whether or not you believe in soulmates.
I do. Do I believe in the Hollywood-ized version of boy meets girl, boy and girl can't breathe without being with each other, boy and girl overcome ridiculous amounts of adversity just to experience the beauty of being together? (See also: boy meets boy, girl meets girl, etc) Sure. I don't think it's for everyone, though. I don't think there are enough Cinderella stories to go around.
I do, however, believe that everyone - every single person on the planet - meets people that are integral to our development or evolution. Those friends who just felt like home right away. The enemies (or what have you) who instantly caused your hackles to raise. The people who act as a river that takes you from one place to another - that are absolutely imperative to your existence, but that don't necessarily hang around in your mind after the fact.
I think everyone you meet changes you, but we rarely acknowledge the change. But sometimes, every now and then, something clicks - and whether we are brave enough to tackle the opportunity doesn't really matter. The tide comes in and goes out without any acknowledgement, right? We don't have to stand there and say "Mmmk. Go now." lest the beaches be constantly flooded.
Some people are a force of nature all on their very own.
Am I holding my breath to meet someone like that online? Nah. But a little glimmer of a tidal wave would be alright. A little motion in the ocean...? *winces* Sorry, but I had to.
9.4 One match that wasn't the match I forced last night. On the young side of my preferred age range, but still within it. Once again, hardly anything on his profile, and no photos.
No new communications, no new closed matches, no new nothin. I had thought that Acerbity was a bit of a bigger place, but it would appear we are chugging right along. I'm not entirely sure, at this point, if this train does go all the way to Bitterness - right now we're heading through the county of Self-Review. There's really no way of knowing which direction we'll head - either towards Bitterness or circling back to Complacence where it all began.
Well, Complacence with a side order of knitting, old-school Alanis Morissette, and sitting on the porch rocker with a blanket and a couple dozen cats...
But at least I'll be a content spinster.
9.5 No matches which is fine with me. I've got a devil of a cold. I'm going to go curl up on the couch and die for a few hours.
9.6 Two matches, one of whom is within my province. He is 36, an investment advisor, and wants to find someone who finds the positive in life and enjoys having fun.
Hrm. Also, quite attractive. Communication requested.
Still sick.
9.7 No new matches and no new communications.
On the plus side - no new closures... Sad that the only "good" news is the lack of "bad" news. Then again, it is the weekend, and perhaps the new gentlemen from yesterday just haven't checked their accounts yet...
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