Normal Girls and Bitterness Reboot - episode 3.0

8.19.11

Still chatting with the same ole, same ole. Both of the main guys seem to be genuinely nice, but I have that strange feeling of being trapped by both. It's difficult to explain, but hell, why don't I try?

Have you ever spent more than a few minutes with someone, enjoyed yourself enough within those few minutes, but felt like you would not be horridly affected if those few minutes were never repeated? Then found out that you'll be with this person for the next three weeks, straight, with no reprieve?

Well, of course you haven't. That would just be odd. But imagine that situation. You know that faint feeling of panic at the prospect of spending a ton of time with a random acquaintance with no graceful way to bow out? That's where I'm at. Sort of.

Because it's all online, of course, and therefore I can bow out whenever I want to. 

8.23.11

Missed a few days. It was the weekend. I wasn't really feelin anything. One of the guys asked if I wanted to meet up.

But here's the thing. He's married.

He's stated that all he's looking for are friends (on his profile) but then he's also commented about his love for boobs. So... You know... Generally I try to be pretty good friends with a guy before we start having discourse about boobs. I, of course, being unfit to discuss the subject due to my natural lack.

So I've declined as politely as possible. And still feel like a raging bitch. But he's still talking to me, so I guess that's okay.

Two new guys the past few days, but so far, one- or two-sentence messages. Good times, good times.

Also, I have an idea on how to change things up - rock the boat, as it were - that I will consider working on this weekend.

8.24.11

So... Made the mistake of mentioning the guy I sort-of-kind-of met last week to a coworker. He works nearby. So now we take walks on our lunchbreaks around the area so she can "show me off"... ... ... Good times. Because I'm not hugely embarrassed by the idea of people looking at me or anything. Not in an "I cower in the corner in the dark under a blanket in lieu of spending time with people" way. In an "I'm fully conscious of the fact that my colleague is trying to garner positive attention for me and it's mortifying even though I appreciate her concern and oh my damn I hope I don't trip over my own shadow here" sort of way. Far healthier.

Oh, now apparently I should go to the casino, bring socks filled with rocks, and "meet a boy" there. And promptly knock him off for his cash.

Remind me again why I said anything to anyone about this?

Oh, right. Glutton for punishment.

Still plugging along at my current matches, and sent a message to a new one last night. I don't know how wise that was because of a number of factors:

1. It was hot outside (therefore mildly dehydrated)
2. I spent much of the afternoon dancing around with the dog, listening to oldies (therefore mildly+ dehydrated)
3. I'm out of pop, so I had a Smirnoff whilst cooking dinner

I may or may not have been a little bit buzzed. Sad, I know, a buzz off of one drink (and a seriously wussy one at that), but I hardly drink anymore. And it was hot. That's my excuse.

I don't think I made too big of an ass of myself, but I guess we'll have to wait and see...

Oh. I read something - I think it was today, but it could have been yesterday - from one of the tweeps I follow. "The best way to kiss a woman is to back her against a wall, hold her arms above her head, and kiss her like you mean it." ... Maybe it's just because of being single for as long as I have been, but I agree wholeheartedly.

8.25.11

Good news, everyone! I didn't make too much of an ass of myself in my previously mentioned - possibly slightly buzzed - message.

Bad news, everyone! I am not attractive enough for the guy I sent it to. So... You know... Every now and then you run across one of these guys. While I appreciate the honesty and I'm fully aware of being no great shakes, I'd probably be lying if I said there wasn't a little twinge of the "Okay" guy.

Meh.

What's semi-amusing about it is that I didn't even look at his pictures when I sent the message, just read the profile. Looking at the pictures now, well... His response was fair enough. And I should have looked at the pictures to begin with, because I wouldn't have sent him a message.

Seriously. All chiseled abs and Zoolander faces. But, in earnest.

Sorry, I just can't take someone like that seriously. :-/

OH! Here we go, perfect way to envision this dude. You know that Zoosk commercial with the redhead and the "serious romance?" At the beginning, when the guy's looking at her with - what I assume to be - his version of "bedroom eyes?" Yeah, make that dude blond, and you have the guy whose standards I don't meet. (Now you don't have to try to imagine what I'm
talking about! Here's the commercial:)

As a random aside, I personally envision all serious romances to turn out like they do in that commercial. (Possibly because I don't really excel at either seriousness or romanticism...)

Moving right along... A bunch of one-or-two sentence messages again. And one guy who managed to get four spelling mistakes in a message with five words.

I'm going to curl up and cry for a little while.

Also, if you haven't seen it yet, go to www.jimcarreytrulife.com and check out his video for Emma Stone. I less-than-three people who are able to poke fun at those who "fall in love" with celebrities they've never met and have nothing in common with, and make all sorts of ridiculous plans for their lives together. If the fun-poking happens to come from a celebrity himself, so much the better.

8.26.11

I'm getting a lot of ads for deHarmony and love astrology lately whilst I compose these entries...

I'm really not super excited about anyone at the moment - not the folks I'm talking to, and not the folks that are on my match list that I haven't spoken to. I'm getting the impression I may have to actually go out and - shudder - meet people. Ugh. Not this weekend, though, because I'm off to the mountains tomorrow. And clearly no people go to the mountains... You know what I mean.

And my idea? Working on it tonight mebbe. I'll keep you posted, as always.

Be good, kids. And if you can't be good, tell me all about it when I get back.

Normal Girls and Bitterness Reboot - episode 2.0

8.03.11

 

Alrighty, got a few more messages today. One from the guy I've been talking to for the past few days, and a few from new people. Neither of whom I'm interested in, but they seem nice. Oh my word, I just said nice. I apologize. They seem like interesting, solid men, who hold no attraction - physical or otherwise - for me.

 

Whew. Better. I hate that word. Nice.

 

Anyways, went through and checked out a bunch of profiles last night and sent messages to a few people. Sent messages to a few people today, too.

 

I don't know if it's just because it's summer or if I'm expecting too much, but it seems to be rather slow-going at the moment...

 

8.04.11

 

New people! A few of them, to be fair, are people that I messaged last week who are now writing me back. One of them sent me this:

 

"Hey there
Whats up? J* here from Calgary, recent single guy, 5 11 tall, light tan fit body, wide chest, strong legs lol and big thick stuff down there lol just looking for fun and friendship
University graduate and clean cut guy
Nice pics by the way,,you are hot lol
Wana chat on msn?:) "

 

... His photos are all from between his chin and his knees. ... Stay classy, J*. Stay classy.

 

The best part? He sent the *exact* same message to my bud who's also on the site. Classy AND original. Double win. I'd like to point out that nowhere in my profile does it say that I'm looking for casual sex.

 

Though, as my regular guy (the guy I've been talking to for a week or so now) pointed out - "activity partner" is open to some interpretation...

 

8.18.11

 

... Wait, what? Yeah, we lost a few weeks in there, kids, sorry about that. Life's been nutty, you know?

 

As an aside, I'm not really feeling any of the people I'm talking to, and I must assure you that this is not because my two sisters seem to have scooped up the last two good guys in the history of mankind. Surely that's not so.

 

In fact, I know it not to be so, because I half-met a guy who seemed really quite awesome the other day.

 

Did I do anything to indicate interest? C'mon, you should know me by now. Of course I didn't. I wallowed in my paralyzing shyness and did my best not to stutter and/or remain completely silent. Besides, how much flirting can a girl do in a courtesy shuttle?

 

No. Really. I'm asking.

 

Anyways, so there may not be much - or anything - to report, but I am still alive. I am still floating a little bit on the chance meeting earlier this week, even though I will quite likely never hear from or see the guy again. The lesson to take from this is that I have a considerably more positive outlook than I have had in the past. And apparently it's still possible for me to get those stupid little butterflies, even though I thought them long since extinct.

 

Well, that would be the lesson to take if there were a lesson to be taken.

Normal Girls and Bitterness ... The Reboot

Hollywood's doing a lot of "Gritty Reboots" to classic tales lately... Though no one with the remotest grip on sanity and/or reality would ever consider my lovelife (or lack thereof) to be a classic tale, I thought I'd give this blog the same treatment. Um. Minus the "gritty" part. So... Enjoy! Or don't. It's really up to you...

7.26.11

It has been some time since last I posted. So much has changed, and even more is exactly the same...

The biggest changes are that I now own my own home (with my sister), and I have a man in my life. :) His name is Henry, and he has brown eyes and mostly black hair. We go for strolls just about every evening, and the best part is that he usually lets me and my cat sleep in on the weekends and wakes up my sister instead when he's feeling rambunctious.

Oh, he's a dog. Maybe I should have mentioned that right off the bat.

In short, not a whole hell of a lot has changed in my personal dating world. I have, however, restarted the online quest. Armed with the knowledge I gained from my previous brush with online dating, tonight I rebooted my account on the free site and took the liberty of perusing a few of my so-called matches.

Amusingly, the gentleman that I had been matched with previously and gone out with twice is on the match list for my new account. I can't decide whether I should laugh at this or find it a slightly disturbing omen for how this go-round will be... I'm sure there's got to be a way to remove people from your match list...?

7.27.11

Received an e-mail from the free site today stating that someone had given me a high rating. The way this works is that you are shown a bunch of photos and have to rate the people. If you give a high rating to the person who gave you a high rating, then you're both informed that you're a match. If you don't give the right person a high rating, you don't find out who rated you so highly.

Neat. Awkward, but neat.

Last night I sent a few messages to a few different potential matches - one of them was not a very high match, but his profile made me smile so I had to. After reading a lot of blather about how these guys are all about one thing and one thing only (be it working out, mountain biking, gaming, what have you) - or alternatively, and not much better, so totally about finding the right woman forever and ever amen, right now - this profile stood out. His answers were peppered with self-deprecating (but not whiny) humour and a fair amount of quirkiness. However, he hasn't been online for more than a month, so I'm not even sure if he's still an active user of the site.

Anyways...

7.28.11

Nothing so far today. Well, that's not true. A notification that someone was looking at my profile. I don't know why they send you e-mails about that... Unless you only get an e-mail if they rate something? I don't know.

One guy who was a sort of match has almost the same photo as the person who was looking at my profile. Same lighting, same technique, and from the half-face you could see on the match, looks to be the same guy. Vaguely reminds me of Rainn Wilson, actually.

Weird.

Ah, so yep, it's the same dude. He wanted to see how his new matches stack up against his old ones, with a new profile. Looking at the rest of the pics, he reminds me even more of Rainn Wilson now. Amusing dude, too.

7.29.11

Aside from a few messages - sadly, none from anyone I'm even remotely pulled towards - not a whole heck of a lot going on.

Oh, a new e-mail. A new message! I don't recognize the username it's from... And the whole of the message is "how are you?" I'm not going to go peruse the profile right now (I'm at work), so we'll check it out later. I hate messages like "how are you?" and the last one I got before this was:

"hi! welcome back,,,,,,,,,,,your pretty."

... First of all, if you're going to indicate dramatic pauses, do it the same way everyone else does on the interwebz: with ellipses. Also, he had nothing open-ended, so an idiotic shy person like me can only respond with "Hi! And thank you." Because I don't find the guy attractive, and his entire profile is made up of commas and extra vowels, and I'm reasonably sure that this is someone who had sent me messages before, though the profile name is different. The writing "style" is most definitely the same.

I've also figured out how to hide users from being on my match list, so dude from last go-round no longer shows up.

7.30.11 - 8.02.11

Been chatting with one guy fairly regularly the last few days (actually, the guy who had only asked "how are you" originally), seems like a good dude. Seriously, he seems like a nice guy. I just don't know how excited I am about it. Not very, if I had to hazard a guess, but is excitement all that important? But I'm not sure if I'm wary due to my previous experiences or if I just feel rather blah about the whole thing.

A few more profiles that made me giggle, so I sent messages, did the "rating a person based on part of a profile and some pictures" thing for awhile... Mostly I spent the weekend outside or hanging with family, though, so...

OH! Yeah, and one dude asking for tips on where to live and where to get a job when he moves here... ... ... ... Mmmmhmmmmm.




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