These are long, hence the early post. Plus, I'll be away this coming weekend, so no guarantees about another post before next week.
Day Twenty-Three
Six matches, a communication from Suitor B. He seems to be a nice guy, very friendly and quite humourous. Not feelin a spark, though. How much of that is due to the fact that I'm not 100% into this service? How much of it is because he's just simply not the sort of person I click with on a romantic level? And, of course, how much of it is because - based on the photos he has posted - I just don't find him physically attractive?
First epiphany (which, really, isn't extremely surprising in the least): It's easier to speak to those people you are not attracted to.
Has taken twenty-three days to reach this epiphany. The odds are good that there may only be two more in this little experiment. If that. Hrmmm... Is it that I know everything already? Is it that I'm so epically slow that an epiphany really does bear waiting for? (Me? I'm leaning towards the latter...)
But when you spend all day surrounded by people who really don't stimulate you in the slightest - intellectually, emotionally, or physically - having the opportunity to simply chat with someone with no strings attached is astounding. T'would be more astounding if there was more than one person to chat with, but there ya have it. Also, there's always the possibility that the person on the other end of the line... errrr... instant message... sees him or herself as the puppet master. Which is a laugh and a half.
Just call me Pinnochio, kids.
*Chair dances like a marionette to the amusement - and confusion - of her coworkers*
Day Twenty-Three
Six matches, a communication from Suitor B. He seems to be a nice guy, very friendly and quite humourous. Not feelin a spark, though. How much of that is due to the fact that I'm not 100% into this service? How much of it is because he's just simply not the sort of person I click with on a romantic level? And, of course, how much of it is because - based on the photos he has posted - I just don't find him physically attractive?
First epiphany (which, really, isn't extremely surprising in the least): It's easier to speak to those people you are not attracted to.
Has taken twenty-three days to reach this epiphany. The odds are good that there may only be two more in this little experiment. If that. Hrmmm... Is it that I know everything already? Is it that I'm so epically slow that an epiphany really does bear waiting for? (Me? I'm leaning towards the latter...)
But when you spend all day surrounded by people who really don't stimulate you in the slightest - intellectually, emotionally, or physically - having the opportunity to simply chat with someone with no strings attached is astounding. T'would be more astounding if there was more than one person to chat with, but there ya have it. Also, there's always the possibility that the person on the other end of the line... errrr... instant message... sees him or herself as the puppet master. Which is a laugh and a half.
Just call me Pinnochio, kids.
*Chair dances like a marionette to the amusement - and confusion - of her coworkers*
Day Twenty-Four
One match.
Now, the website claims that several thousand people join the site every day. Either we are seeing that I have requirements that are just way out there, or that I just don't measure up to potential matches' requirements. Though the commercials and the ads claim that this service is for everybody, I have to wonder... Is it really?
Is online dating really a good outlet for the people who enjoy books and learning, but aren't interested in spending every spare moment debating the various points of Hawking's work? (every now and then, sure... but it's not dinner conversation) For the people who aren't interested in a 24/7, ohmygodwecan'teverbeapart relationship? Well, the second point may work well for some online dating sites, especially if it's a fleeting, physical ohmygodwecan'teverbeapart relationship you're lookin for. Perhaps I should try that sometime, but for this particular site? Not so much...
My dad asked last night if a relationship was even on my priority list. I actually had to think about this, which was a little bit scary. And I came to the conclusion that if, at some point in the future, I meet someone that I just can't live without, I'd be okay with that. If it happens tomorrow and it's one of those "struck by lightning" things, well... slightly less okay with it, but you adjust and change your perspective, I would imagine. If it happens forty years from now and I'm a blushing bride at almost seventy, I'm alright with that.
Sure, the blush may be more because I got my veil stuck in my walker, tripped on my orthotics, and stumbled more than gracefully floated down the aisle, but meh.
...
Whew. Hello left field. I'd apologize for being off topic, but I'm not particularly sorry.
Back to online dating services. Well... It's hard to study a case wherein the subject does not act. Suitor B has gone from being a case of "Alright, I'll talk to this guy to flesh out my online dating service experience without actually "flesh"ing anything out" to "Awww, he's a nice guy. We'd be friends 'IRL' (as the kids say) I think."
*sigh*
My kingdom for a reader.
Running Total:
61 closed
16 communicating
30 "new" - people that aren't closed but aren't communicating either. Kind of the "meh" matches.
One match.
Now, the website claims that several thousand people join the site every day. Either we are seeing that I have requirements that are just way out there, or that I just don't measure up to potential matches' requirements. Though the commercials and the ads claim that this service is for everybody, I have to wonder... Is it really?
Is online dating really a good outlet for the people who enjoy books and learning, but aren't interested in spending every spare moment debating the various points of Hawking's work? (every now and then, sure... but it's not dinner conversation) For the people who aren't interested in a 24/7, ohmygodwecan'teverbeapart relationship? Well, the second point may work well for some online dating sites, especially if it's a fleeting, physical ohmygodwecan'teverbeapart relationship you're lookin for. Perhaps I should try that sometime, but for this particular site? Not so much...
My dad asked last night if a relationship was even on my priority list. I actually had to think about this, which was a little bit scary. And I came to the conclusion that if, at some point in the future, I meet someone that I just can't live without, I'd be okay with that. If it happens tomorrow and it's one of those "struck by lightning" things, well... slightly less okay with it, but you adjust and change your perspective, I would imagine. If it happens forty years from now and I'm a blushing bride at almost seventy, I'm alright with that.
Sure, the blush may be more because I got my veil stuck in my walker, tripped on my orthotics, and stumbled more than gracefully floated down the aisle, but meh.
...
Whew. Hello left field. I'd apologize for being off topic, but I'm not particularly sorry.
Back to online dating services. Well... It's hard to study a case wherein the subject does not act. Suitor B has gone from being a case of "Alright, I'll talk to this guy to flesh out my online dating service experience without actually "flesh"ing anything out" to "Awww, he's a nice guy. We'd be friends 'IRL' (as the kids say) I think."
*sigh*
My kingdom for a reader.
Running Total:
61 closed
16 communicating
30 "new" - people that aren't closed but aren't communicating either. Kind of the "meh" matches.
Day Twenty-Four and a Half
This deserved it's own entry here.
One match - 31, snubbing supervisor, balding, kind of pudgy, and short, but seems nice enough, right? Okay, remember this. One of the things you do when communicating is send your "Must Haves / Can't Stands." These are two lists of things that are non-negotiable for your partner - things that your partner absolutely "Must Have" or things that you absolutely "Can't Stand" in a partner. Items like fiscal irresponsibility, racism, intolerance, etc.
So the guy sends his lists and the 31-year-old, balding, kind of pudgy, short, nice guy says what is an absolute MUST HAVE for a partner?
"My partner must be someone who is considered "very attractive" by current standards."
Uhm. Okay, I don't think it's impossible, nor do I think it's unlikely that this guy will sweep some gorgeous lady off her feet. I don't know him from Adam, right? But am I so crazy to think that having a partner who is attractive to other people being important to you shouldn't really be one of the first things you're telling potential partners? No pressure, right? Also... really?
Okay, if at all possible, I'm going to say:
"My partner must be ridiculously attractive beyond all imagination. He has to be artistic in some form - music, writing, artwork, woodwork, etc. He has to be tight with his family and want to start one of his own (if he doesn't already have kids, if he does, he has to want to have more). He has to make enough money to be comfortable and to look after me in a manner to which I'd like to become accustomed. He has to work hard and understand that I will, too. He has to kill spiders. He has to be six feet tall or over."
And then I'm going to take a look in the mirror, and I'm going to figure out why I'm still single.
Bah. Physical attraction is important, yes. So is realism.
This deserved it's own entry here.
One match - 31, snubbing supervisor, balding, kind of pudgy, and short, but seems nice enough, right? Okay, remember this. One of the things you do when communicating is send your "Must Haves / Can't Stands." These are two lists of things that are non-negotiable for your partner - things that your partner absolutely "Must Have" or things that you absolutely "Can't Stand" in a partner. Items like fiscal irresponsibility, racism, intolerance, etc.
So the guy sends his lists and the 31-year-old, balding, kind of pudgy, short, nice guy says what is an absolute MUST HAVE for a partner?
"My partner must be someone who is considered "very attractive" by current standards."
Uhm. Okay, I don't think it's impossible, nor do I think it's unlikely that this guy will sweep some gorgeous lady off her feet. I don't know him from Adam, right? But am I so crazy to think that having a partner who is attractive to other people being important to you shouldn't really be one of the first things you're telling potential partners? No pressure, right? Also... really?
Okay, if at all possible, I'm going to say:
"My partner must be ridiculously attractive beyond all imagination. He has to be artistic in some form - music, writing, artwork, woodwork, etc. He has to be tight with his family and want to start one of his own (if he doesn't already have kids, if he does, he has to want to have more). He has to make enough money to be comfortable and to look after me in a manner to which I'd like to become accustomed. He has to work hard and understand that I will, too. He has to kill spiders. He has to be six feet tall or over."
And then I'm going to take a look in the mirror, and I'm going to figure out why I'm still single.
Bah. Physical attraction is important, yes. So is realism.
